Zero

circuits31

A muffled cacophony of rusting automatons and wind crammed into geometric confines. It was the closest approximation of silence Ash could expect. Through the venerable concrete and rebar overhead, across the whirring gulf between the prefab monoliths and far below, caked in layers of urban soot and beads of sweat, the city rumbled. Fourteen million nervous little romantic tragedies played out to the soundtrack of four generations worth of plastic-encrusted numeric conceptualism. From within Ash’s musty, two-thousand cubic-foot compartment, the city outside was only a ritualistically-ignored synaptic static, leaking in uninvited through the balcony door.

Stationed on a dusty, upholstered seat, Ash surveyed and edited a lurching spread of dissociated images. The grating, hysteric thud of electronic music pounded forth. More than a few curt, diagnostic conversations occurred in a variety of media platforms. The output writhed and clicked like a sprayed cockroach as Ash’s spindly fingers and hazel eyes flashed across the display. The machine on the chipboard desk was a mutated Theremin. The stoic gearbox danced with Ash more eloquently than any partner she’d known. Sizes, hues, contrast, focal points, volume and layout jumped at her whimsy. All this with an eerie accuracy that pundits measures in terms of ‘intuitiveness’. Synaesthesia was perhaps a more accurate diagnosis.

The night was humid as a cave. Ash couldn’t have been tired if she wanted to. She’d been tossing around her nest since before the sun had risen the previous day, catnapping through the hottest parts of the afternoon. She recalled seeing the sun setting. The view was a quicksilver display of reds, mauve, daylily orange and faint hints of green where clouds’ golden edges faded to turquoise and then sky blue. The sun was almost menacing in its subtle power. The silent key to all the earthly locks, she thought. The image had fought its way through her waking murk and pressed some undocumented button in her forebrain. It reminded her of her own warmth, obscured within the general heat of the city. Like two electrodes across a Jacob’s Ladder, she had been connected to that sun for a brief, groggy moment. Then the frizz of coffee and simmering pan of civilization below her had brought her back to her place – just a spark in a chemical inferno.

Now, in the dark, she fidgeted mercilessly against data. She compounded and interpolated information in search of an elusive detail. She sifted through every seemingly relevant article and video log she could conjure up out of the machine. She navigated all the perceptible degrees of separation from where her gut placed this detail. Her eyebrows cramped and her carpal tunnels protested in vain. In certain moments she lost the thread of hunches and was left with nothing in front of her but a series of unrelated text files and images. Miniaturized amnesia, she thought. She grouped, compressed and labeled these dead ends and red herrings numerically – hopeless conglomerations of evidence. Like the boxes of parts for forgotten appliances that she saw at the pawn shops on the strip.

When she was a child, her mother had said Ash had a woman’s intuition. She remembered crying about the way an uncle had spoken to her in a conversation that occurred out of the earshot of her parents. Several weeks later she woke to the sound of her father drunkenly threatening the uncle and shoving him out the door. The image of her father battering her uncle on the mucky front lawn buried itself in the silt bottom of her memory like a mosquito egg, only to bubble up years later, complete with bloodsucking stinger.

At a young age, the concept of women having some special, almost mystical power had excited and behooved her. Now, her artificial carapace of vapidity, layered on by many too many curt social interactions, told her that the idea was a relic. Just a throwback to that brief, historical moment between oppression and integration, when the ideals of feminism spilled over into the realm of the philosophical. She hoped it was not so. Particularly in light of the fact that she was searching for something that she wasn’t sure even existed, and had no idea what relevance it might bear, were it to present itself. Women’s intuition or stress-induced insanity, she thought, tentatively opting for the former.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: